


Monster

by Samm07Maurer



Series: Carmilla One Shots [2]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Broody Carmilla, Dark Past, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Laura Hollis/Carmilla Karnstein Fluff, Past Abuse, Vampire Carmilla, carmilla's mother - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-03-04 09:22:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13361571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samm07Maurer/pseuds/Samm07Maurer





	Monster

"Poor thing," Mother cooed, tracing her sharp, pointed nails along Carmilla's cheek, "The whole game is rigged against you, my darling girl. These children," She shook her head, "They ask you to fight for them and yet condemn you for having blood on your hands."

"Hush now, It's alright," She continued, wiping the remains of salty tears from the vampire's pale cheeks, "You're safe here. You can never be more a monster than me."

Carmilla stared helplessly up at her from her knees, her confession wasn't as reassuring as Carmilla had hoped it would be. Slowly she could feel Mother's nails break the skin of her cheek and it took all of her self-control not to flinch as she felt blood fall over her jaw and down onto her neck.

"Worry not, young one. Mother is here to reclaim her darling girl."

 

 

Carmilla woke up gasping, bolting upright in bed and thrashing around as the blankets caught around her limbs.

"Carm! Woah, hey, Carmilla!" Laura called, grabbing her wrists to still them.

Carmilla's head whipped around and Laura was instantly more worried when she noticed how much fear was help in her girlfriend's dark eyes.

Finally getting a sense of her surroundings, Carmilla deflated. She collapsed into Laura who simply held her tight and pulled her even closer. Carmilla clenched her eyes shut tightly, though it didn't stop the tears from leaking down her cheeks and the sobs wracking through her chest.

"Shh. It's okay, Carm. It was just a bad dream. I wasn't real. You're safe."

"It was real." Carmilla cried, "She was real."

Laura knew in that moment that Carmilla had dreamed of Mother, the woman that had made it her eternal life's work to take everything from her.

"Listen to me, okay?" Laura spoke softly as she rested her head on top of Carmilla's, whose arms were around her waist with her face was buried in her chest, listening to the calming sound of her strong heartbeat.

Once the brunette nodded Laura continued, "She doesn't control you anymore. Everything that she's ever done to you, it doesn't matter anymore. Everything she made you do, that guilt is not on your shoulders. You're here, you're with me, and everything is okay Carm."

After Carmilla had calmed down and retracted herself slightly from her girlfriend, she began to get out of bed.

"Where are you going?" Laura asked.

Carmilla turned to the blonde with a solemn expression, "I need to show you something."

Though she was confused as to what she could possibly have to see at three in the morning, Laura scrambled from the bed and followed Carmilla down the hallway to the storage closet.

"Uh, Carm?" Laura questioned disbelievingly.

Carmilla didn't respond, only opened the door and moved everything aside to pull out a square shaped object wrapped in old parchment.

She led Laura to the living room couch before handing her the object and motioning for her to unwrap whatever was inside.

Ever the curious journalist, Laura quickly and deftly removed the parchment to unearth a breathtaking and morbid painting. Upon further inspection, she gasped, the sound seeming amplified in the quiet and still apartment.

"Is this you?" She asked, unable to unfix her gaze from the artwork.

"It was," Carmilla confirmed in a small, broken voice, unable to look at the familiar painting for more than a few seconds at a time.

Laura could feel tears threatening to fall from her eyes as she took in every detail on the canvas. It was undoubtedly her Carmilla, lying in a pool of dark blood, her skin frighteningly pale in comparison. She was wearing only a thin, white gown that hung from her thin frame. There was a striking crown atop her dark locks, which was made from delicate white roses and twisted, sharp metal.

What really struck Laura though, wasn't any of that. It was the expression of Carmilla herself as she lay trapped in the blood. Laura's usually favorite pair of bright, expressive eyes were dead and vacant. Dark bruises framed her eyes and her cheekbones stuck out from gaunt cheeks. Her lips were cracked and dry. If Laura didn't know better, she would assume the painting was done of a strange corpse.

"Carm," Laura eventually breathed out, "What is this?"

"I told you about my punishment for disobeying Mother with Ell in 1872. What I didn't tell you was that I wasn't buried in the ground right away." Laura placed the painting on the table in front of them and turned fully to Carmilla, grabbing her hand and holding it tightly as a way to tether Carmilla and keep her from getting lost in her painful memories.

"My prison was made of a very rare and special substance. It was sheer only on one side, making my prison a black hole and leaving Mother the ability to watch my suffering whenever she pleased to. She watched my descent into madness as I lay in Ell's blood, and she reveled in breaking her prized girl." Carmilla swallowed thickly after she choked out the nickname and was barely able to stop herself from flinching as she continued numbly.

"When I had stopped fighting and eventually given up all hope, Mother painted this herself. I was no longer entertaining to her, so she had me buried in the ground so that I could live out my suffering as the world continued on above me."

Carmilla sniffled and took a moment to compose herself before finishing, squeezing Laura's hand even though she continued to stare ahead at the wall.

"After I escaped, I ran as far away as I could get. She found me, of course."

A humorless smile forced its way onto Carmilla's face, "And upon my return to her side, she gifted this to me, proclaiming I keep it as a reminder of what happens when she is disobeyed."

"She's gone." Laura broke the silence with her strong declaration.

Carmilla's eyes finally turned to meet hers at the sound of her passion and Laura nodded, "She's gone, Carmilla. And she can't hurt you anymore."

Confusion and curiosity still swirled through her mind as she observed the painting sitting on the table in front of them, "Carm, why do you still have this? After all this time?"

"Becuase it reminds me of what I truly am," Carmilla replied in a small voice.

Laura didn't say anything in hopes her girlfriend would explain further.

She was right, of course, but she didn't get the answer she was expecting as Carmilla's voice filled the apartment, her tone sharp and full of self-loathing even though she remained quiet.

"I'm a monster."

"No." Laura denied immediately and vehemently, "No, she was a monster. Carm, you could never be that."

"How can you say that?" Carmilla asked as she refocused on the blonde sitting next to her, her brow furrowed in disbelief.

"Because I know you," Laura argued.

"I've killed people, Laura. Ripped them apart and drained them of their blood for sport and for fun and because I wanted to. I've robbed thousands of people from their chance of a long, happy life. I've taken away mothers and fathers and children from their families simply because I wanted to feed."

The brunette deflated, her head dropping in shame, "How can you sit here and tell me that I'm not a monster when that's all I've ever known how to be?"

"Because I know you," Laura repeated gently, "the real you."

"You've saved countless girls from falling prey to your mother, you fought your basic instincts to keep me and my friends safe. You here with me now, in love and happy with me in our tiny little apartment in New York because that's where I said I wanted to go."

She slowly slid over and situated herself in Carmilla's lap before reaching to cup her cheek and bring her dark, sad gaze to her light, hopeful eyes, "You're not a monster, Carmilla Karnstein. You're my hero."

Carmilla's eyes filled with tears again, though this time they were tears of joy and love for the girl in her arms. She crashed her lips onto Laura's and passionately showed her how much she meant to her. She wasn't the greatest at expressing her feelings with words, but her actions shouted her love for Laura from mountaintops.

They parted only to take a quick breath and then Carmilla was standing, carrying Laura back to their room and placing her on the bed as she grinned.

"I love you, Laura Hollis." She purred as she slowly leaned down on top of her.

"I love you too, Carm."


End file.
